Breaking the Queen Bee Mentality

At our April Work for Good panel event, I mentioned something that caught many attendees off guard: being a Queen Bee isn’t a badge of honor…it’s a warning sign.

I described how Queen Bees often control the hive, pulling up the ladder behind them so no one else can climb. The term Queen Bee was coined in the 1970s to describe women in leadership roles who were seen as hindering the progress of other women. It's a toxic behavior rooted in scarcity and insecurity, and unfortunately, it still shows up in too many workplaces and social groups. You could feel the surprise ripple through the room.

While it might sound like a compliment at first glance - powerful, in control, admired - the truth is…

…being a Queen Bee isn’t aspirational…

…it’s harmful.

In a business environment, the Queen Bee Syndrome describes women who view other women not as allies or collaborators, but as competition. This often plays out through subtle sabotage, emotional immaturity, or blatant favoritism - mentoring male colleagues over female ones, withholding opportunities, or even undermining another woman’s advancement.

Queen Bee behavior doesn’t just show up in boardrooms; it’s often alive and well in social circles, too. Queen Bees may control access, dominate conversations, or subtly shame others for their choices, status, or success. This behavior creates an undercurrent of comparison and competition rather than connection. Instead of fostering authentic friendships, these dynamics can leave women feeling isolated, judged, or not "enough." Social spaces should be where we feel most accepted and seen, not where we shrink ourselves to fit in.

These behaviors are rooted in insecurity, not strength. A Queen Bee may carry herself with exaggerated confidence, but underneath the polished surface is often an inflated ego and a deep fear of being outshined. She may come across as assertive or "successful," but her success comes at the cost of other women’s growth…

…and that’s not leadership…

…that’s gatekeeping.

Let’s commit to evolving past this outdated dynamic and stand beside one another.

At Brave Women Project, we exist to Educate, Encourage, Engage, Empower, and Evolve. None of that happens when women tear each other down. True leadership is about lifting others up, sharing power, and creating space for diverse voices to rise. It’s about mentoring with integrity, celebrating wins that aren't your own, and challenging the internalized beliefs that there's only room for one woman at the top.

At Brave Women Project, we also prioritize psychological safety in everything we do. Our member-only events are designed as confidential, trusted spaces where conversations are respected, uplifting, and deeply supportive. We don’t promote sales tactics or transactional networking - instead, we cultivate genuine connections and relationships. This commitment to safety and sincerity allows our members to show up fully as themselves, fostering an environment where bravery, vulnerability, and growth can thrive.

Let’s commit to evolving past this outdated dynamic.

We don’t need Queen Bees.

We need Brave Women…women who stand beside each other…not above.

Celebrating Courageous Leadership: Insights from the "Work for Good" Luncheon

On a beautiful day in April, female leaders from across the Greater Pittsburgh Area gathered at the Rivers Club for the "Work for Good" luncheon, hosted by Brave Women Project (BWP.life) in partnership with Women for Economic and Leadership Development (WELDUSA.org). This event provided a platform for vibrant discussions on what it means to embrace purpose-driven work and foster courageous leadership.The panel discussion was expertly moderated by Kelli Komondor and Amy Hooper Hanna, providing Power Panels for the people of Pittsburgh.

Our Panelists and Power Panel Moderators

What Courageous Leadership Means to You

The discussion opened with a powerful question: What does courageous leadership

mean to you?

Diana Westhoff, a seasoned leader focused on service excellence with over 35 years of experience in financial services and Founding Member at WELD, emphasized the importance of showing up authentically, using your voice, and calling out the “elephant in the room.” She urged attendees to act like they belong and to create a culture of confidence.

Bea Spolidoro, an Italian architect passionate about crafting sustainable, health-focused environments, shared insights on Serving Leadership, highlighting that true leadership involves guiding others and admitting when you need help. “I don’t want to let my ego take over,” she stated, reinforcing the idea that leadership is about collaboration and development.

Dr. Kathi Elliott, a Board-Certified Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner on a mission to empower young women through holistic, gender-specific programs, added that knowing both your strengths and limitations is key to surrounding yourself with people who enhance your leadership. Creating spaces for women with diverse expertise can empower teams and foster growth.

Rachel Brecht, an accomplished executive with over 20 years of experience in activating people, culture, operations, and transformation strategies, reminded the audience to honor each other's humanity, while Lynn Banaszak, a dedicated community leader, philanthropist, and advocate for equity, innovation, and economic growth, spoke about leading with humility and giving others space for courageous conversations.

Discovering Passion for Purpose-Driven Work

As the conversation deepened, speakers reflected on their journeys toward purpose-driven work. Diana revealed her advocacy for women as her life’s purpose, recounting her experience starting the first women’s business resource group at JPMorgan Chase.

Rachel highlighted the importance of recognizing that work serves as a value exchange. “Everything serves us for a season,” she said, encouraging attendees to identify what fills their cup and their non-negotiables in life.

Paying It Forward

The panelists shared personal stories of how they discovered their passion for helping others. Bea recounted her “Ah-Ha” moment when she began assisting emerging professionals, learning invaluable lessons through her willingness to help.

Lynn’s journey was marked by her experiences as the only woman in many settings, emphasizing the impact of humanity in leadership decisions. She stressed that defining your role is about your impact, not just your title.

Creating spaces for women with diverse expertise.

Fostering Creativity and Relevance

Kathi reminded everyone that staying relevant is crucial for preparing future generations. Celebrating the 10th Anniversary of the Equity Summit for Gwen’s Girls, she urged attendees to reflect on their legacy and how to remain in tune with current innovations.

The Power of Mentorship

Mentorship emerged as a central theme, with Lynn sharing that her mother taught her the importance of authentic connections. “What do I have that can help you go where you need to go?” she asked, emphasizing the role of mentorship in leadership.

Kelli Komondor, Executive Director of Brave Women Project, highlighted the importance of lifting each other up, stating, “If you’re going to mentor someone, make it possible for them to climb that ladder and sit next to you.”

Legacy and Financial Sustainability

The audience engaged with the speakers on the topic of legacy, with a member reminding everyone that legacy doesn’t have to be grandiose. It’s about planting seeds for future generations and ensuring our actions today make those who come after us proud.

When asked about setbacks, the panelists spoke candidly about the importance of creating space for vulnerability. They encouraged a culture of “Fail Fast, Recover Better,” emphasizing the need to redefine failure and understand its role in growth.

Conclusion

The "Work for Good"luncheon served as a powerful reminder of the strength found in the community and the importance of women coming together as part of courageous leadership. As we continue to support one another and foster creativity, let us commit to doing our work for good, expanding our impact and leaving a meaningful legacy for the next generation.

Hello 50: A Milestone of Grace, Growth, and Gratitude

Some people say that turning 50 is over the hill - but let me tell you, the view from here is fabulous. 

I just celebrated my 50th birthday in the sunshine state - Florida - the same place where my story began. Talk about full circle! There's something poetic about dancing into a new decade where I entered this wild, beautiful, unpredictable thing called life. And let's be real: what better place to mark a milestone than where palm trees sway, drinks come with tiny umbrellas and humidity gives your hair a personality of its own? 

I'm still standing - slightly stitched, moisturized, and rocking this new decade like it's nobody's business.

Fifty has brought me clarity. It's a powerful feeling to know what you want, what you no longer need, and who you are at your core. I've released the pressure to please, and the weight of comparison. I've embraced joy, rest, boundaries, and laughter - especially the kind that makes your stomach hurt and your cheeks sore. 

In the recent months leading up to this milestone, I had an appendectomy (what does an appendix really do anyways?), hysterectomy (bye, uterus!), managing psoriasis flairs (because of course my skin wanted a say in things), dealing with those pesky hot flashes (does anyone have a fan?)  and am about to have my arm operated on. I mean, who says that you can’t be a little broken and still be a whole vibe?

Yet, through it all, I'm still standing - slightly stitched, moisturized, and rocking this new decade like it's nobody's business. I'm wiser, bolder, and less afraid to say no (or yes, depending on the day and the shoe sale). I've stopped apologizing for taking up space and instead, I'm making room for everything that sets my soul on fire. This includes my family, career, and even my newest business venture. That is perhaps the bravest part, betting on me. At 50, I am stepping into entrepreneurship, starting my own business, with nothing but faith, experience, and a fire in my belly. I refuse to wind down, I am rising up. 

To everyone wondering what 50 feels like: it feels like freedom with a side of sarcasm. It feels like loving your life - even the messy, unfiltered parts. It feels like dancing barefoot, celebrating your scars, and knowing that deep down that the best is yet to come. 

Turning 50 was the bravest that I have ever felt - standing in my truth, scars, and all, with nothing to prove and everything to embrace.